If I'm not supposed to be a "nice guy", do I have to be a jerk?

Not in the least. The nice guy / jerk spectrum is too wide
to describe the actual personality you should be displaying
to women. People only think "jerks" because jerks never
supplicate. But you don't have to be a jerk to avoid
supplication and you don't have to be obnoxious to get
what you want.